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God this is horrible. I’ve been sacked from two jobs in as many weeks and it isn’t fair. I want to go back to my old job.

I’ve also realised I don’t actually like being employed. My ideal job is one where I’m given stuff to do, and as long as I do it that day or week or whatever, they don’t care what method of working I use and exactly when I do the work. I can’t stand people watching me all day and then making up their minds to sack me just because I tend to talk over people (I need to ask questions ok!?) or they decide I’m pathologically lazy because I like to lean back in my seat and be comfortable. I hate this. Why can’t I be allowed to take control of my owsn destiny?

Doctor Who Series 2 Overview

“Awe: we need awe to love people, to look up to our heroes, to change the world. And awe is now under attack – it’s being replaced by indifference, stupor, blind tolerance.”

I read in Doctor Who magazine that Russell T. Davies was born by ceaserian section – he was his mother’s third c-section and in those days (1963) you weren’t allowed to have more than two, apparently. I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if Russell had to have been born naturally and had died…what a loss to the world.

The second series has improved on the first in one aspect at least – the crew seem to have a better idea of suspense. For example in the first series, the story that reintroduced the Daleks was imaginatively called ‘Dalek’. Having said that, the first series was so raw and fresh that it could cut your face off, these minor imperfections added to the edginess of the whole production. In retrospect I think a lot of that clarity was down to the ‘damaged goods’ characterisation of the 9th Doctor. He’s so rough and sharp at the same time you feel terrified for him and for the people around him. A good part of the series arc was watching the Doctor’s character change and evolve as he regained his humanity. Would the Doctor of ‘Rose’ have been more able to press the red buttion and destroy the Daleks than the Doctor of ‘Parting of the Ways’? Maybe.

However, the Doctor was less reliant on Rose to save the day this time around. The tenth Doctor seems just that little bit more resourceful and able to help himself.

For me, the series high points were: Most of Tooth and Claw (it was a pleasant surprise after what Rusty usually dishes up, with the exception of Boomtown), all of Girl in the Fireplace, The Impossible Planet (but not the Satan Pit) and Fear Her. The big dip in the series was Love and Monsters, but I liked the fact that it was different, even though it wasn’t especially good-different.

I finally pinned down what it was about the second series that annoyed me. It’s the fact that some of the stories are actully better (better pace, better ideas), but they seem to be playing them down and making them mundane instead of showing all that vibrancy that the series deserves. And also the Doctor/Rose thing bugs the hell out of me. You just feel like such a ruddy gooseberry while they run around giving each other the goo goo eyes (the Doctor not so much). That pair are so smug together you want to punch the bejesus out of them (or just Rose).

I’m fine with emotion (I mean, I watch Hollyoaks…). But not when it has all the impact of a giant meaty fist ramming itself down your throat and pulling your internal organs out one by one. Especially when the afoementioned fist has been shoved up Russell T. Davies massive smug derierre five minutes previously.

We were given no character arc (at least not yet) for the tenth Doctor – we just had to sit there for thirteen episodes and watch as he pandered to Rose and laughed at her jokes. Sometimes we caught a glimpse of what was beneath the surface (most notably in Girl in the Fireplace and in other sequences where Rose was off doing something else and the Doctor was left on his own). We have lost the team factor that made nine and Rose’s relationship so electric. In this series, Rose seems to think that the Doctor is her boyfriend and some great stories (Fear Her, School reunion) are spoilt by Rose’s behavior and her and the Doctor’s smugness. Although, looking at the season as a whole story, this fact means something. It is used to accentuate the fact that the Doctor and Rose have got too close to each other and Rose thinking it can never change. She actually tells the Doctor that she will stay with him for ever, and is determined to stay with him and help him no matter what. Watching the whole series again as one huge story, knowing exactly what happens in Doomsday, I get the feeling that their separation is inevitable. I have heard it said that the ending of a good novel is believable and inevitable. Maybe Rusty has done something right.

Another thing I’ve been wondering about is that everyone was saying how awful series one was last year, and yet now series two has been and gone, people are saying how great series one was. Maybe this time next year we’ll be saying the same about series 2? Maybe that’s the plan? To steadily make the series’s worse as each year goes by until eventuallly the Doctor is living in a council flat with Rose, Martha and Sarah Jane and their 16 children. The Doctor works in a sandwich factory and the series has a…(wait for it….)…laughter track. All kinds of alien invasion fun and wacky high jinks ensue, including the amazing alien that can fart, burp and do a poo all at the same time, and looks like a yellow sausage, while weilding a steak knife at the regulars.

What I like about this series and its themes (while we’re on the subject, because I’m going to go off on one of my bizarre theories in a minute) is that the Doctor and Rose have actually caused their own downfall. It is their irresponsible behavior that causes Queen Vic to create Torchwood to track him throughout the centuries, and it is Torchwood that finally separates them. That idea could also tie in to the fact that The Doctor and Rose seem to be having way too much of a good time galvanting around the universe, not seeming to care who dies along the way as long as it isn’t them.

Having said that, there isn’t as much symbolism in the second series. There was so much you coud read into the first series – Norse mythology, Christian mytholgy, the big stuff – and compared to that the second series is so shallow. It just reads like a second rate love story, maybe the Titanic or something.

I noticed a lot of recurring themes in this series, desptite the lack of mythic symbolism – the image of a moon cropped up in the first three episode of the series, as follows:

New Earth: There is a cresent moon on the side of the hospital building

Tooth and Claw: Moonlight plays an important part in the proceedings.

School Reunion: We see the bat creatures flying past a huge full moon.

A lot of the stories also seem to have a long sequence set at night – Age of Steel, Girl In The Fireplace, Love and Monsters, School Reunion, Tooth and Claw, Satan Pit is very dark anyway. I only just noticed that one.

Yet another running theme is of people or creatures being a long way from home.

New Earth: The Doctor mentions that they will be travelling ‘Further than we have ever gone before.’

Tooth and Claw: The werewolf boy mentions being “So far away from home.” Queen Victoria makes the supposedly flyaway comment that the world of werewolves and ghosts is ‘Not my world’ (a hint of where Rose will end up at the end of the series?).

School Reunioun: Nothing that stands out.

Girl InThe Fireplace: The Doctor says to Mickey: “You’re a long way from home, Mickey.” about the Diagma (?) cluster being two galaxies away from Earth.

Age of Cybermen: The Doctor, Rose and Mickey enter a parallel universe. How far away from home can you get?

Idiot’s Lantern: The wire had been exiled from it’s home planet.

Impossible Satan Pit: The people livign on the planet are so far away from their home, Earth. And living on the edge of a black hole. The Beast mentions being ‘From before the beginning of time’.

Love and Monsters: Can’t think of anything.

Fear Her: The creatrure that possesses Chloe is a long way from it’s family and home and it’s terrified.

Army of Doomsday: The Cybermen, Jake, Mickey and Pete come from the parallel universe. Rose and Jackie go back there at the end. I think this theme means that Rose will end up being as far away from home as it possible to get – she has to live out her life in another universe, parallel to her original universe, but not the same.

What is Doctor supposed to be sorry for? I think the Doctor or someone else says the line “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” in every episode of this series. Maybe its supposed to mean that everybody is sorry for something? (see below)

It’s bizarre that we have all these great themes and some of them actually mean something (there’s a whole section on the Impossible Planet/SatanPit symbolism in Wikipedia) yet the stories themselves are so superficial they are almost cartoon like. It’s an interesting concept though. You could have a series about the characters doing nothing at all but shagging each other and watching the telly, but you could put all these little symbolic themes and bits in it and people would call it a post modern masterpiece or something.

Parallels between series 1/27 and series 2/28:
In The Satan Pit, when Jefferson is trapped on the wrong end of the tunnel he says “I’m sorry. I was a bit slow.” which is the same thing that Rose says when she becomes trapped in Dalek. Also in the Satan Pit Rose screams at Zach and Danny to “Take me back!” when they are forcing her to leave the Doctor. She said this in Parting Of The Ways when the TARDIS returns her to her time against her will.

In Bad Wolf the Doctor says “I haven’t got a plan, and doesn’t that just scare you to death?” Rose says a similar thing in Doomsday: “5 million Cybermen? Easy! One Doctor? Now you’re scared.” I know that isn’t exactly parallel, but it is very similer. It could be emphasing the fact that Rose has become like the Doctor in a lot of ways, picking up his mannerisms and reacting like he might do. Jackie says something to this effect in Army Of Ghosts: “Look at you. You even look like him!”

I’ve worked out what the Doctor is sorry for! This is all his fault! Hahaha!! HA! After all, it’s his fault that Torchwood was created. (see above)

The difference between the 9th and 10th Doctors is as great as you can get without having to go to another planet. The ninth was a brooding old war horse trying to come to terms with the destruction of his people and he was afraid to let anyone get too close to him for fear of them being destroyed too. We, as viewers, were given the pleasue of watching his shell gradually disppear until he was finally ‘doing domestic’ and having a laugh with his new ‘adopted’ family – Rose, Mickey and Cap’n Jack in Boomtwon. That episode showed how good the group could be as a team, even though Jack was given a back bench for the majority of the story. In a sense the ninth Doctor was always doomed, and it was the development of his charachter that assisted in his death in the end. Lacking the heartlessless to kill the Daleks indirectly caused his regeneration.

The tenth doctor is too much fun. He’s quirky, he’s zany. He quotes Kylie Minogue and watches Eastenders. He’s not as engaging because of this. The ninth Doctor had this wonderful magnetic aura of brooding mystery, which this one doesn’t possess. I think that if less of an attempt was made to make him all cool and likable in the manner if a fluffy kitten, he could be really good. Make him more quietly menacing, and eccentric (but more in the style of eating marmalade with his fingers, as opposed to being the Doctor who runs around wearing a nappy and giggling a lot. We don’t need that sort of eccentric). I think Tennant would take to that quite well. Leave off the ‘look at me I’m all wacky and fabulous. I’m like one of the guys out of your favourite band!” stuff for a bit. It’s a bit wearing. Make him more subtle and interesting and we’ll get along just fine.

With Eccleston, he cold just walk into a room and you leapt to the edge of your seat. When Tennant comes into a room you think “What silly thing is he going say this time?” Well, this is the guy who thinks it would be the epitome of coolness to go up to a guy called Alonzo and say “Alonzay, Alonzo!” I rest my case. Damn it was heavy!

I think with this series there was too much resting on it’s shoulders. The first series series had its bad points, sure, but they seemed to fade into the distance this year. The simple fact is that it could never live up to the legacy that season 1 (and Christopher Eccleston) left in its wake. Will David Tennant regenerate standing up? Doubtful.

It’s like that difficult second album that everybody goes out and buys because the first album was MINT and then mostly everyone ends up feeling vaugely disappointed and empty. And cold. So cold. That’s what this series of Doctor Who does to you – it leaves you cold and yearning for the good old days, when the Doctor wore a leather jacket and Rose was still in possesion of her character (it made a brief appearance in Girl in the Fireplace, but has not been seen since. I have appealed to the missing persons bureau, but it is likely that Rose’s character will soon be pronounced as officially dead.). We all hoped that it would expand on the first series’s greatness and become something all of its own at the same time. We all looked forward to it too much. I no longer have any hopes of greatness for the third series. It might be better that way. I suppose we’ll all be sorry in 7 years time when the last ever episode has just aired after nine series and it is revealed that it was all one bloody long symbolic story to end all stories, and all this shit from series 2 falls beautifully into place. Mind you, it’s all very well, having a pretty forest but what good does that do you, when every tree is slowly going rotton on the inside? I have heard someone else describe the first series as being like a Marianne Faithful album and the second being like an album of Westlife cover versions. I have never heard a song by Marianne Faithful so couldn’t possibly comment…(Kudos, Tom!)

On the whole, I think the stories improved, especially the pacing and Russell’s skill in storytelling. Stephen Moffat was forced to take only one episode this time (seriously we could have lost Love and Monsters. Tell the Blue Peter kid the budget won’t stretch to yet ANOTHER green fat costume), and Mark Gatiss’s tale didn’t live up to expectations. Or maybe that was just because we know the formulae he uses by now.

The characterisation went down the bog, except in the case of Mickey Mick Mick Mickey (everybody go ‘wooo!’) who improved in leaps and bounds. I suppose it was quite nice to see Pete again and build on his characer,but it got a bit much in the end. The character of the Doctor seemed too lightweight and undecided. He shouted, or he was fun, or he was introspective, or he was quirky. There was no actual character in there. I won’t even mention Rose (again).

My final word is that I would shag David Tennant, but Christopher Eccleston is, and always will be, MY Doctor (fucke you, Rose, I got there first.) It’s not about the shagability – it’s in the performance and the character and frankly at the moment, the tenth Doctor’s characterisation is shit.

Watch the first series again. All of it. It’s fantastic. Absolutely Fantastic!

The Dead Zone Review

The Dead Zone, by Stephen King, is one of the most haunting books I’ve read in the last year. At the moment I would class it as my joint favourite Stephen King novel, alongside Misery. Like Misery, the Dead Zone tends to focus on the emotions and reactions of the characters rather than on any particular force of evil. Greg Stillson is a bastard, but he is human, not a demon.

In his book, On Writing, Stephen explains his struggle to make Johnny Smith likable, and Greg Stillson the villian. These two facts had to be evident right from the start of the book, because although, Johnny is the good guy, he is going to end up as the assassin part of an assassin/victim relationship, with Stillson taking on the role of victim. I think Steve did a damn good job of turning Johnny into our friend. We start off with him taking his girlfriend, Sarah, to the funfair, and we quickly discover that John Smith (no middle initial) is a regular, genuine, fun guy, if maybe a little cocky. In fact, Sarah goes on to describe the contrast between John and her previous boyfriend, Dan, who was the violent type and made her nervous. Meanwhile, Greg Stillson is introduced as a Bible Salesman – a nice exterior – who kicks a dog to death for getting a wee bit snappy with him, after he sprays it in the eyes with tear gas (or something like that).

I have to admit that I fell in love with Johnny straight away, after an initial reaction of ‘I’m not sure I’m going to like this one’, but I am happy to say that I was wrong. I picturedJohn as a sort of cross between David Tennant and Jude Law. For some reason I thought of Stillson as being bald or nearly bald, even though he was never actaully described as being so. It’s strange what your imagination can come up with, isn’t it?

On page 96, there is a supposedly throwaway sequence about a lightning rods seller going for a few drinks at a bar called ‘Cathy’s’ and trying to persuade the owner, Bruce Carrick, to buy some lightning rods from him. Bruce rejects the salesmans wares and the sequence ends with the seller glancing up at the exterior of the bar and wondering if Bruce Carrick might not pay for the mistake of not buying them in a few years time. It doesn’t mean anything yet, but it will do.

It’s an interesting and brave move by King to have a sort of hiatus after Johnnny’s accident that puts him in a coma. Sarah moves on with her life, gets married, has a child, and Johnny’s parents struggle to pick up the broken pieces of their life. Vera’s (Johnny’s mother) religious mania develops into something terrifying and she even considers joining an ‘End of the world’ commune, using the last of the family’s savings.

Meanwhile, Greg Stillson goes from strength to strength, improving on his standing in the community and becoming more popular each day. Demons are stirring in Maine, and the ever present, ever cursed Castle Rock, Stephen King’s personal fictional town (when do I get my own damn town?) is haunted by a mysterious killer who calls himself ‘slick’. What does all this have to do with John ‘No Middle Initial’ Smith?

We start to learn the answers to these questions, and to understand what is going on here, both in John’s mind and in the outside world, when Johnny
wakes from his coma on May 17th 1975, at approximately 3.15 pm. He has been in a coma for four and a half years, and has to cope with how the world has changed, his own physical condition, the fact that his girl is married to a man that looks a little bit like him and the fact that he can now tell the future. After predicting several incidents, such as the identity of Dr Sam Weizak’s mother, who was thought to be dead, a fire at his physical therapsists house and the outcome of an operation carried out on a nurse’s son’s eye, the press get involved, inevitably. Before I move on to that, I’d like to linger a while one of my favourite scenes: the scene where Johnny realises that Eileen Magown’s house is on fire. Their interaction is a very nice scene that adds a lot to Johnny’s character in subtle ways. He’s a perfectly sweet guy but he knows how to take control when he has to. The best bit is the following sequence:

(All italics are the words of Stephen King and were not written by me.)
****

The two nurses went on drinking their coffe and talking about some doctor who had turned up drunk at Benjamin’s. The third was apparently talking to her beautician.“Pardon me, I have to make a call.” Johnny said.

The nurse covered the phone with her hand. “There’s a phone in the lob…”

“Thanks,” Johnny said, and took the phone out of her hand.

*****
I just really like that bit. It’s very David Tennant.

Anyway, like I said, at this point the reporters arrive in force to quiz Johnny about his abilities and he manages to make an enemy out of a jounalist named Roger Dussalt, who faints from the shock of hearing Johny tell the assembled journalists family secrets about his (Rogers) sister when he gives Johnny a medallion to see if he can get a reading from it. Johnny’s mother suffers a stroke when she sees her son on the news and dies the same night, after telling Johnny that God has brought him out of his coma for a specific purpose. She forces him to promise to her that he will find out what that purpose is, and that he will carry it out for her sake. At the end of the story, it turns out that maybe Vera Smith was right.

After his mother’s death, and in a bid to escape from the attentions of the press, Johnny and his father retire to a small, out of the way house, where Johnny has his first and only sexual experience with the woman he loved, loves and will always love, Sarah. The story of their doomed love is a poignant and sad secondary plot. Sarah visits for the day with her son, Denny. That afternoon Johnny and Sarah consumated the marriage that was never meant to be and that night, Herb Smith plays with the boy that should have been Johnnys son, and Herb’s grandson. I think it was at this point that I doubted that Johnny would ever find happiness and I was no longer sure that he would be alive at the end of the book. This fact is reinforced because Sarah does love her husband, Walt. He is good to her and she would never leave him for Johnny because of Denny and because of her feelings for Walt. I did wonder whether Sarah would leave conceive Johnny’s child during the one liason they had together, but Steve isn’t that obvious, and anyway, if that had been the case, Johnny could have had a chance of a happy ending. Not to be. Johnny was doomed on the day he fell on the ice and banged his head as a five year old child.

I have come away from reading quite a few of Stephen King’s books with a ‘Kingism’ or two. Some of my favourites come from Misery – “Oogy”, “Dirty bird” and “Now I must rinse” being a few of them. I have also started using the phrase ‘The Dead Zone’ in everyday conversation. When I can’t remember something I say ‘Oh, its in the Dead Zone’. Basically ‘The Dead Zone’ is the ‘X’ in algebra. It’s the unknown factor that could explain everything. It’s the part of Johnny’s brain that was destroyed in the accident and the resulting coma, and also the part that awakens and causes him to have visions of the future. It’s everything that was lost and everything that can be found.

I feel that the episode in Castle Rock with Sheriff Bannerman, where they discover the identity of the ‘slick killer’, is filler, but it isn’t exactly wasted because we learn more about Johnny’s ability, although it’s nothing to do with tthe resoltion of the story as a whole and The Dead Zone could easily stand without that sequence.

At this point, the book goes into a second half, and we return to find Johnny makig a start on a new life. He is staying at the Chatsworth’s house and teaching the family’s son, who has difficulty reading. Later on we discover the significance of the lightning rods sequence at Cathy’s bar – Johnny has a premonition that it will be struck by lightning, on the night of Chuck Chatsworth’s graduation party. This premonition proves to be accurate, but luckily most of the kids that would have been killed go to a party at Chuck’s house instead, spooked by the premonition. After this accident, Johnny leaves the Chatsworth home and begins work on his plan to assassinate Greg Stillson, and learns that he does not have as much time to spare as he thought – he is dying of a brain tumour.

The ending is neither sad nor happy, but bittersweet, because in Johnny’s death we are losing a friend we have only just begun to know, and yet it is also satisfying, as he has fulfilled his purpose on Earth and can die complete. I think I knew, from the moment that Sarah left Johnny’s house with her son to go back to her husband, that Johnny was not meant to have a happy ending,. Everything he ever cared about drove away in a little red Pinto.

The book ends with Johnny not being a murderer, but a scared and lonely man whio has tried to do the best he can to save the world that was borrowing him. And he has succeeded. Greg Stillson is still alive, but Johnny had ruined his reputaion, and for someone like Stillson, I would say that is a fate worse than death. Stevie doesn’t have to write an afterward about Stillson’s future life, and we’d probably hate him if he tried it. We can imagine what sort of life Stillson will have now – that of the disgraced prophet. Looking at it another way, Johnny has become the murdered president, the ultimate good guy, and Stillson has become the assassin.

Despite Johnny’s death , the novel ends on a positive note – “If he could get into that corridor, he thought he would be able to walk.” This world was merely keeping Johnny alive for a short time, to do it’s dirty work and fulfil his purpose, and now it’s releasing him into another world, another dimension, where he will finally be able to be healthy and free. Somewhere, where maybe one day, Sarah will return to him. At least we know that he did not die for nothing, he was going to die of a brain tumour anyway, caused indirectly by his head injuries. It’s a relief to know that he did not have to suffer much at the end.

“Go then. There are other worlds than these.” (a quote from The Gunslinger, by Stephen King)

He will never really die, but just move on to that other, placental world of corridors with endless doors to step through. We are all a John Smith, we are all the common man, but we all have a purpose on this Earth, whether it is to write, or to give birth to the next King of France, or to become a nurse and help save lives. We all have the opportunity to change the world, just by being alive, even though hardly any of us actually know why we are here, and if there is a god, what he/she/it/them has put us here for.

Too Many Things (A Prologue to ‘Abby’s Tale’)

This is a peice of fiction inspired by reading Irvine Welsh’s Trainspotting.Warning – very adult themes such as sex and heavy swearing. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.********

Red spatters. I awoke in hell. No…maybe other people call it hell, but for me it is home. It’s cold, despite the red and black, which I’d always thought were warm colours. I lift my head from the faintly sticky, bristly carpet and my nostrils quiver at the sharp smells around me. The blood starts to rise in my throat again. Fuck. That’s what all that red stuff on the floor is – tomato juice from the bloody mary I finished up with last night. Oh fuck….Black – black clothes, black wall, black books. Black like the lungs of a forty a day smoker. Paint everything black. I will not have colour in my life any more. Bright orange light cuts through my head, sets the Goblins off. They scream. The colour of the red vomit is bad enough on its own, but there is more…the smell of the rotting tomato juice, the stench of my own guts, my insides – raw vodka and spices – a sickly indian curry of a drink. My stomach heaves.I make it into the bathroom this time. But the sink…my mum’s going to go mad. I look like I’ve had a baby in there. Just looking at the mess brings some more up. A door slams downstairs – lounge – don’t let my mother come up here please. If there is a God, spare me that. Not now, please, not now. I need a fag. I kick the door shut, stifle a squeak of pain as my toe hits the wood of the door the wrong way. I clutch at the sink, fingers rubbing in my own fresh puke – it looks like tomato sauce, now. You could put it on chips…

- Abigail?

Why does she have to sound so fucking chirpy? I guess she wasn’t out on the piss all night. I hold the door shut with one foot, balance unsteadily on the other, still holding on the sink for dear life. I need a fag. I turn the cold tap and watch last night’s nourishment start to swirl away. There are orange lumps floating in the red sea – I see them flying loop de loop like miniature spaceships – I’m going to be sick again. No I’m not. It’s ok. I’m in control now. Everything might be alright. Maybe shagging that Marc Stebton was part of that crazy drunk-dream, and maybe Nancy isn’t going to rip my head off and ram it up my fanny when she finds out.

I stand at the empty sink, praying that my period will come soon. Maybe then no one will have to find out. Oh god, please dont let me have an STI. Don’t let HIM get an STI. They’ll both want to kill me then.

Ahh!! Bloody hell. My mother!

- Abby? Are you…what are you doing in there?

- I’ve got a hangover, mum.

Shit! I sound like I’ve had my mouth cleaned out with sandpaper. Water, quick.

- Well, the state you were in last night! You ought to go and live with your father, the way you’re turning out! School, Abby? Have you thought about school in the last year?

Here we go…

- How on earth you even manage to get in pubs I don’t know…

And she carries on. I’ve learnt to blank it all out. Let all of that mess drift away. I sink onto the toilet seat, head in my hands. I would scream, but I think it would hurt too much. I’m an alcoholic, I might be pregnant, I think I’m addicted to coccaine, my education is shot to buggery, and I’m fourteen years old. I’m too young, too old, and everything in between. Some days I think I’m dying, and I haven’t yet begun to live.

Welcome to my new website!

It’s an ego thing, ok? I’m getting bored with writing a ‘diary’ style blog, but I don’t want to change my existing blog because of the history there. I suppose I could start again with a new blog on blogger or change the existing format slightly, but I want a website where all the lages are connected to one site. It’s ego.

And, ok, no one is in the slightest bit interested but me, but whatever. Who gives a fuck.

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This is a text on a fucked up keyboard…